How to Arrange In-Home Care for an Ageing Parent

To arrange in-home care for an ageing parent, start with a conversation about what they want help with, then work out which tasks matter most and decide how the support will be funded and who will provide it. You do not need to settle everything at once, and your parent stays at the centre of each decision.

This guide is written for the family member doing the organising. It covers how to raise the subject, how to turn a vague worry into a short list of needs, how to choose between government-funded and privately arranged support, and how to keep things running if you live in another city.

Start by talking with your parent

Help is easier to raise when it is described as a way of staying independent at home, not as a loss of control. Choose a calm moment, avoid raising it straight after a bad day, and begin with questions instead of solutions.

Useful openers include "What takes the most energy at the moment?" and "What would you like to stop worrying about?" If your parent says they do not need anything, you can leave it for a week and try again with one small, specific idea.

Work out what help is actually needed

A short list is more useful than a general feeling that things are slipping. Write down what you have both noticed, then sort it into groups:

• Personal care: showering, dressing, getting up and settling at night

• Around the home: cleaning, laundry, meals and shopping

• Getting out: appointments, errands and social activities

• Safety and company: regular check-ins and someone to talk with

Mark the one or two items that would make the biggest difference. Starting small lets your parent get used to a new person in the house before adding more. Our guide to signs it might be time for in-home support can help you spot the everyday changes that tend to appear first.

Decide how the support will be funded

There are two broad routes, and you can use both. One is government-funded aged care. How to apply and what applies to your parent depends on their own situation, so check the official government aged care information before you commit to anything.

The other is arranging and paying for support privately, which does not need an application and can start while other arrangements are being sorted out. Our guide to registering with My Aged Care explains what registering involves and how it sits alongside private support.

Choose who will provide the support

Once you know the tasks and the funding route, look at who could deliver the help. Some families use an agency, and others prefer to choose an independent support worker directly. If you are weighing the two, independent support worker vs agency is a good place to start.

Care seekers and coordinators can browse and search the support-worker pool.

Whichever route you take, agree the details in writing before the first visit: which tasks are included, the days and times, and who the worker should contact if something changes. Our guide to hiring a support worker lists what to settle before you book.

If you live in another city

Distance changes the job from visiting to organising. A few habits make it manageable:

• One local contact. Ask a neighbour, friend or nearby relative to be your eyes and ears, and agree what you want to hear about straight away.

• A fixed check-in. A short call at the same time on set days tells you more than occasional long conversations.

• A video call at the first visit. With your parent's agreement, you can say hello and ask questions face to face.

• A shared note. Keep the task list, contact numbers and spare-key details in one place that you, your parent and the local contact can all read.

Notice patterns, not single events. Unopened mail, an empty fridge or fewer answered calls are worth a gentle conversation, not an alarm.

After the first month

Review the arrangement together. Ask your parent what is working, what feels like too much and what is missing. Adjusting the tasks, the times or even the worker is a normal part of getting the arrangement right.

To see what the first visit looks like, read what happens on your first in-home support visit. If you are ready to look for someone, you can find independent support workers on CareVicinity.

Frequently asked questions

Where do I start if I want to arrange care for my parent?

Start with a conversation about what they would like help with, then write a short list of needs and choose the one or two that matter most. After that, look at funding and who will provide the support.

What if my parent refuses help?

Keep the focus on what they want and offer one small, practical task, such as help with housework. Revisit the conversation after a few weeks without pressure.

Can I arrange care for a parent who lives in another state?

Yes. You can talk through the plan by phone or video and agree the details with a support worker without being in the same place. Involve your parent in every decision and make sure they are comfortable with who will visit.

Do I have to use government funding?

No. You can arrange support privately as well, or use both routes. For government-funded support, check the official government aged care information for your parent's situation.

Sources

• CareVicinity: Signs you might need in-home support

• CareVicinity: My Aged Care registration guide

• CareVicinity: Independent support worker vs agency

• CareVicinity: How to hire a support worker